Conservative Right Wing Xtian Sex

So I'm sitting here watching Tanker do her nude dance, happily bouncing around her room, and wondering how long it will take for the CRWX (conservative right wing xtian) media to smear this blissful frolicking with words like "lewd," "disgusting," or "vile."

I've often wondered about the CRWX mentality where sex is concerned. What's their problem, anyway?? I think if they all went to a shrink and took a picture identification test, it would go something like this:

Picture: Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction
Answer: SEX

Picture: Mother breastfeeding her baby
Answer: SEX

Picture: Photograph of a nude woman
Answer: SEX

Picture: Two children playing nude in their paddle pool
Answer: SEX

Picture: A family with two mothers enjoying supper together
Answer: SEX

Yet the many of these same people keep the porn business alive by spending millions of dollars every year on magazines, videos, and memberships on net porn sites. Go figure.

The real problem comes when they get around to actually doing it with their wives. Missionary. Eight minutes of exercise. Sleep for him. Frustration for her.

Why is it that the patron saint of sex for these people is St. Paul? A single man, so wrapped up in the old covenant that his opinion of women is summed up by two words - Eve sinned. Think about it. According to Paul, women should stay in the back of the church, silent, and never even ATTEMPT to teach a man anything about God. His opinion of sex was, stay single unless you are lusting for women and you HAVE to have sex, then at least get married. Hmmmmmm. Not exactly the picture of sex we get from Song of Solomon is it? But then, that's just an allegory, right??

I think the first thing they need to understand is that nudity does NOT equal sex. And there's nothing to be ashamed about concerning the human body. If more CRWXtians could get past this, many of the problems they have regarding sex could be nullified.

Mayhaps if they could understand that God gave humans bodies and sex to ENJOY, they wouldn't all walk around looking like they just sucked on a lemon. Mayhaps they should replace the lemon with something else, both of them.

My advice is, join in Tanker's happy dance. Do it for the freedom of it, the fun of it. And as far as your sex life goes, get some imagination. Rent some costumes, pretend you don't know each other and meet somewhere and try to pick one another up. There are a zillion things you can do to make your sex life more interesting. And for gawd's sake, make foreplay the most important part of it.

Can you hear all the women out there shouting, "YES!"?

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