Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Courage At Seventeen


Do you remember when you were 17? Remember high school? Remember how self-conscious you were about what the other kids thought about you? Were you ever ragged on about something? Of course your were. Mayhaps it was your clothes, your friends, your hair, your weight, or something you did or said. Remember how you felt about being teased and harassed back when? Good! Hold those thoughts!

Now I want you to imagine you're 17 again and a cute girl. You live in a small town smack dab in the Bible Belt in northern Georgia. You attend the local high school with other kids you've known most of your life. Sounds pretty normal so far, right? Now comes the hard part. Imagine you're this girl and you're a lesbian. And you're out and proud of it. All the kids know. All their parents know. Your parents are highly supportive.

What do you think it would be like to attend that high school under those circumstances?

Kerry Pacer, 17, of Cleveland Georgia (home of Cabbage Patch dolls, no less) attends White County High. She's a lesbian and she's been out since the 7th Grade when she told her parents and a few friends. She's never been ashamed of who she is nor has she ever lied about it to people. Life at school, however proved to be a trial.

"I have dealt with a lot of cruel people in my school. I have broken down in tears at some of the awful things students have said. I pride myself, though, on never letting them see me cry. I should be able to feel safe wherever I go - especially at school - yet I don't. I am never sure what to expect. The so-called rednecks decide whether your day is good or bad."

Kerry explains that a good day is, "when you hear only one or two words murmured under their breaths. A bad day is when someone yells across the hall or you get pushed into a locker."

Kerry wanted a safe haven in her school, a place she and others like her could meet without the hassle and problems created by students who lacked understanding and tolerance concerning her sexual orientation. She went to the principle's office and asked school officials if she could form a Gay/Straight Alliance club at White County High. Needless to say, this was not well received.

PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) sent help. Kerry, and other students interested in starting the club and two PFLAG representatives met with school administrators in an attempt to start the GSA club. They were politely turned down. They next met with Paul Shaw, White County's superintendent of schools , then to the school board, all without positive results.

During this time, harassment of Kerry at school intensified. She faced her tormenters every day of the week with a steely resolve not to be put off by their actions or taunts. When one girl told her that God was watching her all the time Kerry shot back, "And who's watching you?!"

When the pastor at the local Methodist church tried to bring some sanity to the situation by preaching the message, "Gays are Persons of Sacred Worth," Fred Phelps's "God Hates Fags" group from Topeka, Kansas bussed in picketers to remind everyone in this two stoplight town that Kerry Pacer was going to hell. Local folks countered with a demonstration of their own, including people who were against Kerry's club.

Finally, the ACLU stepped in and after a considerable fight which included an attempt by White County High close down all noncurricular clubs in order to stave off the founding of the GSA club which Kerry and her friends named PRIDE (Peers Rising In Diverse Education). In the end, they failed and Kerry Pacer won. She understood her rights were being violated and she stubbornly and in the face of constant harassment, did something about it.

A local resident had this to say, "Kerry is showing people that the sweet girl next door, the one who is serving them with a courteous smile at the local deli, is gay, and that it's no big deal."

Kerry Pacer has won the Anti-Defamation League's "Unsung Heroes" award. She received the "Courageous Leadership" award from Georgia Equality for showing courage under extreme circumstances. She was recognized by the Georgia Chapter of the Human Rights Campaign. Kelly also was sited by the Georgia General Assembly in House Resolution 906 commending her work.

Photo of Kerry Pacer and her sister Lindsay ©Erik S. Lesser and originally appeared in the June 21, 2005 issue of The Advocate.

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