Harry Potter and the RWCXtians

Where were you during that magical hour when yesterday turned into today last night? Home in bed sleeping? Or mayhaps you were attending one of the thousands of Harry Potter release parties that occurred from Scotland to Hawaii, dressed like the witch or the sorcerer you know you wannabe. Yes, yes, J.K. Rowling has released her latest effort in the Potter series to bookstores around the world. Over ten million copies will be sold today alone. Children, teens, and adults everywhere will be able to ingest this two-inch thick tome they couldn't wait to own within a few days and the fervor will be over until November when the newest Harry Potter motion picture will be released to the same frenzied masses.

Reporters' log: Harry Potter launch - United Kingdom
Australia goes potty over Harry - Australia
Long wait is over - Canada
Hundreds camped overnight at bookstore to get Harry Potter book - Singapore
Bewitched hour rings in last Potter book - India
Harry Potter Mania Sweeps Bookstores With 6th Book - Turkey
British author JK Rowling with a copy of 'Harry Potter and the ... - NewZealand
Amazon Japan causes stir by delivering new Harry Potter book early - Japan
Final magic touches underway ahead of Harry Potter launch - Malaysia
Potter Day - Ron/Hermione a fling? Major character die? - Spain
Fans going potty for Harry - South Africa

To name just a few of the close to 2,000 news stories that broke across the world announcing this event. And nobody was murdered, kidnapped, or raped. Nobody was caught having sex. Nobody stole anything. Yet this was a news story much bigger than Rove v Plame. Bigger even than the London bombings. Imagine, good news bigger than bad news. You've seen it in your lifetime. Man bites dog!

Of course not everyone is happy about the new Potter release. Once again some of the sales of the new Potter book will be made to religious zealots who will rip the pages out and burn it, as they did with previous editions. How sad. These wondrous RWCXtians are even angry at each other about it. Sigh.

Oh for the good old days when an RWCXtian could point at a woman and declare she's a witch, for no other reason than she used herbal remedies to help sick people. The joy of it! First the woman would be brought to a group of pious elders (men), stripped naked so they could find the inevitable mole or sore, the kind all middle-aged people have, the devil's mark. After a goodly amount of torture, off to the mock trail where everyone knows what the sentence will be. Then the party truly gets started. The battered woman is dragged off to the stake, tied by extended arms to the top so she can't slide down into the flames. Men, women, and children pelt her with rotten fruit as wood is piled around her and set ablaze. Each scream from the woman is met with wild cheering and revelry. Finally, her skin burnt off, she breaths her last as her limp body is engulfed in flames as the crowd roars its approval. The people buy souvenirs, eat heartily, and head home, a marvey time had by all.

Forget that the Harry Potter series has thousands of children reading, yes reading, a book of well over a thousand pages. This will corrupt their little minds. Fill them with lust for magic spells, having sex with the devil, and the will all want to become **gasp** Wiccans! After all, the Bible says, "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." And you know them Wiccans. Dancing naked in the forest, sticking pins in dolls, making potions that will cause pious good RWCXtian men to spend thousands of dollars each year secretly buying Internet porn!!

It would be so much better to live in a society that burns books, burns people, and loves torture (only in the name of God, of course).

Wouldn't it?

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