It's News...Isn't It?

I rolled out of bed this morning, cranked up the laptop and signed on to the internet. I often sit through one round of the little parade of news headlines that pops across the welcome screen before I move on to real business. Here is the one that caught my eye today:

Fast-Food Ice Dirtier Than Toilet Water

The reason this stood out is not because I found the information shocking, gross, or in some way likely to change my lifestyle. No…it just flashed me back to my former career as a shopping mall café manager. And I wondered how many thousands of counter people all over the country were going to hear, "No ice!" today –invariably after they have already poured the drink and set it down in front of the customer.

Back in the day, we were at the mercy of irresponsible press coverage of half-researched scientific conclusions about food. The "Mall Walkers" were always my first heads up about any late breaking articles. Those health-conscious troops with their hand-weights and $100 walking shoes rarely ate any of our food anyway. But I always got treated to an earful of why our offerings were likely to kill someone, when they strode up to the counter to claim their "reward" of a fresh cup of decaf with skim milk and equal. Until someone published an article about carcinogens produced in the decaffeinating process. Then they would just wave as they blew past my counter on the way to the water fountain…

I own my own small business now, and I have to wonder what the jackasses that put out these poisonous press releases are thinking. If I thought they were trying to get good, solid, helpful information out there to the public, I would cut them some slack. But I picture some evil editor rubbing his hands together and tweaking his moustache…secure in the knowledge that whatever advertising is running on the same page as a "this food will kill you" story, is going to flicker across a more than satisfying number of retinas today.

Our sales rise and fall on the tides of which sensational "if you eat this you won’t live to be a hundred" article is making the rounds that week. We are just an honest little restaurant, struggling to put good food, and a few treats, out there for general consumption. We really do not lay awake nights trying to think up new ways to poison our customers. There are times when I sincerely wish the media would pick on some other industry for awhile. Go take your shovel and do a little digging into, say, torture in miltary prisons. Or the president's ties to lobbyists. Or car bombings in Baghdad. Or where millions of dollars in Katrina relief has got to.

But I suppose those topics aren’t nearly as juicy as a good "e coli in your ice" story.

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