Almost South of the Border

Because we're fellow Texans of a certain age, and I've been reading her for so long, Molly Ivins feels like a personal friend. I know she's someone I could stay up all night with, drinking Lone Star, hootin' and hollerin'. This Molly column from Friday gives her take on the Immigration Question, although I'm not sure Non-Texans will exactly understand the whole thing. For instance, the Terlingua Chile Cook-Off...I kinda think you had to have been there, at least once, to undertand it. Sun, ferocious heat, beer, Jerry Jeff, Waylon and Willie, chile so hot you have to keep drinking beer to survive. A little confusion is understandable.

Austin, Texas. -In 1983, I was a judge at the Terlingua Chili Cookoff, and my memory of the events may not be perfect—for example, for years I’ve been claiming Jimmy Carter was president at the time, but that’s the kind of detail one often loses track of in Terlingua.

Anyway, it was ’83 or some year right around there when we held The Fence climbing contest. See, people talked about building The Fence back then, too. The Fence along the Mexican border. To keep Them out.

At the time, the proposal was quite specific—a 17-foot cyclone fence with bob wire at the top. So a test fence was built at Terlingua, and the First-Ever Terlingua Memorial Over, Under or Through Mexican Fence Climbing Contest took place. Prize: a case of Lone Star beer. Winning time: 30 seconds.

I tell this story to make the one single point about the border and immigration we know to be true: The Fence will not work. No fence will work. The Great darn Wall of China will not work. Do not build a fence. It will not work. They will come anyway. Over, under or through. (Read the rest here: Immigration 101 for Beginners and Non-Texans)

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