Get The "H" (Heaven) Out Of My Life

My phone has rung twice in the last hour. The first time, the caller ID told me it was an "Unknown Caller" with a 571 area code. I ignored it. I figured if it was someone who really needed to get in touch with me, they’d leave a message. I checked the voicemail a half-hour later…no message.

A couple of minutes ago, the phone rang again. Same number. Okay, I thought. I’ll bite. Maybe it’s someone who really does need to speak to me and won’t leave a message. Like maybe one of my myriad bill payments got lost somewhere along the line and I have been sent to collections for something I thought I paid (it has happened…) So I answered it.

A sincere recorded voice started in on a long harangue about how my signature was desperately needed to get a measure placed on the Oregon ballot. The measure happened to be about requiring Oregon teens to get parental consent on abortions. Of course, I would never sign such a petition, anyway. But that is not what irked me about this phone call. I wasn’t even really pissed that these idiots can bother me even though my number is on the National Do Not Call List…though that is irritating.

No, what cheesed me about this call was the Area Code it came from. "571" is not an Oregon area code. It is not even a Pacific Northwest area code. In fact, when I went to my online US Area Code Table, I found that the call came from somewhere in Northern Virginia.

I am thoroughly sick of being subjected to the national agenda of the Christian Right. And I emphatically object to them sticking their noses, and their funds, into ballot measures in MY state; an entire country away from their bible-belt cubicles with the "Jesus Saves" posters on the wall. And apparently they don’t even have the grace to try to be sneaky about meddling in our business.

If you don’t live in Oregon, stay out of our government. If a majority of Oregonians decide to risk hellfire in order to maintain the availability of safe abortions, or to provide end-of-life choices for our suffering neighbors, it’s none of your damned business. Stay home, look in the mirror and take the plank out of your own eye.

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