Shiny and Happy

Did I mention that I love Christmas? I know it's odd thing for an atheist to say, but I really can't help it. I always begin the season cranky and skeptical, and it's almost always the most stressful time of the year at work, but at some point, the magic of the season catches up with me, and I spend money like a crazy person, and sing corny old Bing Crosby songs until co-workers want to strangle me, and my partner A digs out her ear plugs and catches up on her reading.

Today was my last day off before Christmas, and even watching the news over coffee this morning didn't spoil my day. I slept late enough to miss the serious news, and when I turned on CNN, the worst thing I saw was the Miss America scandal. I'm kinda fuzzy on the details, but I guess Miss America has been doing some wild partying in New York, and she was in danger of losing her crown. I always imagine Miss America to be sort of like a life-sized Barbie, and I guess that Barbie is not supposed to be doing blow and entertaining men with Skipper just down the hallway. And I'm pretty sure that Barbie is not supposed to be making out with Skipper, isn't Skipper her second cousin or something? When I was a kid, my Barbie and Skipper used to kiss in the pink convertible,( while Ken dressed in Barbie's evening gown in the Dream House) but Barbie and Skipper were both killed in a tragic accident when my brother bound them together (naked) with duct tape and strapped a bottle rocket to their backs. They landed in Mrs. Kowalski's rose bushes, both burned beyond recognition, but safe from scandal. In real life Barbie has to go to re-hab, but Donald Trump has graciously allowed her to keep her crown. Is Donald Trump the Great Miss America Decider? Was he kind of turned on by the whole Barbie/Skipper kiss? And what will become of Skipper? Will she go to one of those home for wayward teens? Will she keep her tiny crown?

This morning I figured that the Miss America thing was actually kind of cool, when was the last time Miss America had some hot gurl on gurl action? Anyway, it's about time the toy companies made Bi-sexual Barbie, but maybe Coke-Ho Barbie is not quite appropriate for young people. But if this was the only thing that America worried about today, I'd say it's a pretty good day in the neighborhood, and I went out to do my holiday shopping.

Did you notice the boost I gave to the Dow Jones? Nothing like a little economic stimulus to give you that Christmas spirit.

I shopped like a seasoned veteran, and came home with many gifts for my lovely partner, (which I can't tell you about just in case she stops by and reads the blog) and a few new things for me. I know I'm not supposed to shop for myself, but hey, sometimes a gurl needs stuff. I wrapped all the gifts in shiny paper which I feel a little guilty about, all those trees felled so that I can rip them open and dispose of them on Christmas day, but I really can't help it. Every once in a while, I like to be shiny and shallow, and just damned grateful that I can still afford to shop with the pros.

Tomorrow the morning news may be dismal and depressing, but today I am singing corny old songs and feeling fine. Sing with me people!

Happy Holidays.....Happy Holidays.....

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