The End of The Folks

Right now I should be watching the end of the series "Queer As Folk", but I figure if I don't watch the last episode, maybe for me it won't end. I do that with books I love, I will read all the way up to the last chapter and stop to imagine a life for the characters beyond the binding.


I must admit, I didn't warm to the series right off the bat. For me it was a little too graphic, a bit too extreme, kind of in your face with the sex stuff. It might be the ex-Catholic prude in me that objected to all of the gratuitous sex, but truly, having lost so many of my friends in the eighties to AIDS, I wondered if the show was sending the right message to all of those young people who might look to these men as role models. But boys will be boys, no matter what some middle aged lesbian might think of them, and you have to give the show's creators a lot of credit for being real.

You could call this series ground breaking, you could call it antagonistic, and you could call it heart warming and endearing all in the same breath. For young gay men living in a place like Nebraska or Alabama, you can call it life saving. When I was in high school, I thought I was the only gay person in the universe until I met my first girlfriend, and then I thought that it was just us two. Life for young people who have secrets can be hell on earth, and having someone, even a fictional character who has the same issues, experiences the same anguish, can be just that one small factor in life that keeps a young person from being a statistic.

It takes courage to come out. It's a huge risk when you're not sure that your own family will still love you for saying who you really are. There were years when I had a fake boyfriend, and I could never remember his name when I had to talk about him. I would worry about going to holiday parties alone and having to face the questions about What's His Name. I attended corporate parties and dinners in heels with one of my gay boyfriends who would end up flirting shamelessly with the VP of Accounting. I wondered if I would be denied advancement, or even be fired for being gay. It's just much easier to be honest, to be true, and risk the hatred of your peers than to have to try to remember the name of a fictional husband. But the risks are huge.

It also takes true courage to produce a series as real as Queer As Folk. The climate in media cannot be friendly to such a project, when ABC won't even air an ad from the United Methodist Church inviting gays and lesbians to a service on Sunday. True courage is rare, but it's contagious, just like love. All it takes is one person brave enough to be different, and loving all children unconditionally. In real life, it's never that simple, but the option for parents to accept their children for who they really are is always the best answer.

Love and Courage will keep your children safe and happy.

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