An Old Saying

There was this old saying that my parents used to have. Try as I might, I can't remember what it was, but it's meaning was clear, describing a situation where a thief was put in charge of safe-keeping a large sum of money. What the hell was it? Two Peas in a Pod? A Pig in a Poke (ohmigod, I hope that doesn't mean something completely disgusting, it sounds vaguely obscene)? Needle in a Haystack?

The saying that eludes me just now was perfect to describe what is happening on Capital Hill these past few weeks. Republicans are frantically looking for new leadership, and talking about lobbying reform. Here's what the fat guy from Illinois, Denny Hastert suggested today:

A ban on all travel.

The GOP proposal includes a virtual ban on gifts, except for small items such as baseball caps.

Increase - from one year to two years - the waiting period before former lawmakers and senior staff members could lobby Congress.

The plan also includes enhanced disclosure of lobbying contacts and spending.

It's kind of odd that Speaker Hastert had to give $70,000 in Abramoff money to charity, and that he signed a letter to the interior secretary in 2003 on behalf of one of Abramoff's Indian tribe clients days after a fundraiser for Hastert at Abramoff's posh Washington restaurant, Signatures. But here he's the one suggesting changes.

The thing is, all of that money that flowed from Abramoff to the Republican leaders was perfectly legal in the form of campaign contributions. There's not a Republican or a Democrat in the nation willing to give up that much needed cash. There are no rule changes that even suggest the idea that we limit the money that lobbyists can donate to re-election funds. Our system is tainted because the very need to get elected requires large sums of money, money that is not given without the implication that debt will be repaid in some form. It's the way that Washington works, laws and favors are traded for re-election money, poor people don't run for office. Even if Jesus were to come back, he wouldn't have a chance in hell (pardon the pun) of getting elected, unless he pulled some miracle out of his sleeve and changed fish into US currency. It's a little ironic that so many Republicans who believe that government should not interfere with business take so many contributions from large corporations, and then vote to fuck fellow Americans by allowing these corporations to pollute the water that we drink, or to renig on promises of a decent retirement. It's not really a Republican scandal, although the Republicans have taken corruption to new and astounding art form, it's an American scandal. There are no Democrats willing to initiate campaign finance reform, it would completely level the playing field, and they might have to run against an upstart who truly represented the American working class, or the common man.

There's no such thing as a free lunch. Ah...not the saying I was thinking of, but so true, and even more so in Washington. The saying I was thinking of had something to do with chickens...counting chickens before they're hatched? Chickens crossing the road? Almost all of those sayings seem to represent a common wisdom, and human weakness hasn't changed all that much from the time of written history. It's still all about greed, corruption, power and lust, and it always will be. We can't expect our lawmakers to govern their own actions, or for those who seek power to be immune from the very thing that they seek bringing about their own corruption or demise. It has happened since the beginning of time, you can even read about it in Shakespear's writings, if you can understand the language. Men cannot govern other men, or women for that matter because we all have the same shortcomings, that weakness that is human.

We can ask for reform until we're blue in the face. The Democrats can run on a campaign of trust, but we can only trust them slightly more than the Republicans. What we really need to do is get the filthy money out of lawmaking, and make government service something to be sought after by folks who are not looking for lucrative jobs after serving a few years. Maybe there is not an old saying for wishing for honesty in government, but maybe we can invent one.

Whatever saying we invent, I'm pretty sure it should have a reference to chickens.

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