Normally, I'm a rational person. I'm even tempered, optimistic, not given to outbursts, or rash decisions, I've spent my whole adult life going to work, paying my bills and not worrying too much about the future.
Lately, I've developed a bit of a nervous tick, a twitching in my jaw, everytime I read the news, or watch CNN. I went to see my doctor today, and she told me that my diet is horrific, and that I should stop drinking coffee. That's great advice, but without caffeine, my ability to function in the world would be greatly reduced, or non-existent. I know I should cut down on my news consumption, but it's almost as if I am frozen on the tracks, watching the oncoming train, unable to shut my eyes, and helpless to stop it. Dr. Cho prescribed some pills to alleviate my anxiety, but so far they're not working.
Hmmnn.....maybe I should take another one?
I woke up this morning feeling pretty normal, until I opened the back door and looked at the disaster in the backyard. All of the neat little bags of leaves and those annoying little prickly round balls that fall from my neighbors trees were thrown all over the place from the high winds overnight. We never have high winds in DC, but today there were warnings of wildfires in Virginia and Maryland. That's never happened in the ten years I've been here. That only happens out West. I made my first espresso of the day, and sat on the stoop in the wind, my hair blowing everywhere. I was just about to go inside, when I spotted the red Cardinal who hung out in the neighborhood last year. I hadn't seen him for six months, and since it's the only bird I can name, I have a great affection for him. I don't know for sure that it's the same one, but I've never seen two, so maybe he migrated to where ever, and came back for the summer.
Okay I admit to having no knowledge of nature, I just know that the birds go somewhere. And then they come back.
I went upstairs to get my daily fix of bad news from the various media outlets, my windblown hair making me look a little like a crazy person. The first story of the day had to do with the pending crisis in Iran, and the threats from the Bush Administration. The twitch began before I had even finished the article, because I gotta be honest, the thought of expanding the Iraq war to include Iran is just sounding crazy to me, and yet having this addiction to bad news over the last four years has made me realize that these guys are entirely capable of something just that stupid. And even if there is no war, the fact that Saudi oil is getting scarce, and we are doing nothing to develop alternative energy makes threatening Iran seem like economic suicide.
The next story was about bird flu. A leading expert was saying that there was a 50/50 chance that it would mutate into some form transmittable from human to human. The leading expert said that he kept a three month supply of food and water in his basement for just such a possiblility. In my basement, there is nothing to eat, there are only these hairy jumping spiders and the washer and dryer. I have some old books, but I've read them already, and if I get hungry, they will be no good to me. I decided to make a trip out to the suburbs, and hit Costco. I bought huge bags of flour and rice and dry beans, and like 12 gallons of bottled water. I shlepped the whole load down to the basement and hid them in the laundry room, so that my partner wouldn't think I'd flipped a switch.
As I was lugging the supplies in from the driveway, I spotted the cardinal again, and wondered just where it had been all winter and what it might be bringing back.
You can call me paranoid, but I prefer to call myself prepared.
And you know what? As soon as I finished putting the emergency supplies down in the basement, my twitching stopped.
