The Blue Voice

Sunday, March 05, 2006

TBV FEATURE: TAKE IT BACK! 2008

The argument from the liberal elite goes like this:

Americans are stupid. The ignorant masses watch American Idol and the Simpsons, and have heard of the First amendment, but can't recite Shakespeare and so are not worthy of our respect. They are stupid, therefore they should not vote. They have never read Emerson or even Tom Wolfe, so how can they possibly understand the Constitution? Look, I have to admit to an aversion of Shakespeare, mainly because I never understand just what the F they're trying to say, and the British actors always sound as if they're trying to speak after taking a huge bite of a peanutbutter sandwich, sticking to the roofs of their mouths, without the benefit of a nice gulp of milk. You would think that they would have mastered the English language by now since they invented it, but still, when I watch BBC, I want subtitles.

But I have an excuse for my ignorance of Shakespeare, I'm from the Southside.

The neighborhood I was born in is a ghetto. The housing that we rented some forty years ago still stands, and it's still a ghetto. It was always built to house poor people, who did not understand the King's English, and those who never spoke the native tongue at all, those of us who didn't have the advantage of the East Coast liberal's fixation with a prep school program designed to get us into those schools that our parents could never afford. We learned from the streets, and those of us who were lucky enough to go to private schools learned the language of the Church, never to question, never to think, to await our reward in heaven, that reward we would never realize unless we remained humble and servile. I hate Latin prayers from the old Masses, and Latin phrases in general, because the priest would recite them in language that the poor could never understand with his back turned to the common man.

George Bush can't recite a sonnet from Shakespeare, he can't even say the word nuclear, but he is a guy who people have been able to relate to because he's seems as ill educated as those of us who live on the South Side.

Hillary Clinton was criticized for comparing the government with a plantation. They said she was racist and divisive, but you know what? Voters understand the analogy of the plantation, especially those of us who have had to learn the uncertain language of English where meanings may elude you depending on your zip code. The Democrats must learn to speak the diverse language of America, or become severely marginalized in future elections. The Democrats will never truly represent America unless they can sing a rap song or hang out on 115th street on the South Side without worrying about where they parked the Lexus. White guys can't jump, and the unintelligible Latin phrases sound too much like those WASPY secret passwords at Yale and Harvard. Rich white guys from Connecticut will never understand American's love for the 2nd amendment because they never had to live on a city block where they were the last person to purchase a gun when the rest of the neighborhood had already stashed an arsenal in the garage. In any case, the Democrats should dump the fancy talking East Coast liberals and get real with the people.

And quit saying shit like Unitary Executive Theory. Who even knows what that really means? In Klingon, it might even mean: my penis is so small that it is meaningless.

Fuck Shakespeare. Give us Mack Daddy and Snoop Dog. Give us an America that speaks to all Americans, or steal our freedom and democracy with the dicey language that is only spoken by scholars, thieves, and lawyers.

Or steal my freedom from my cold dead hands.

How do like me now?

posted at 5:16:00 PM by Tankwoman

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