Even Carlyle's Got the Blues

You've probably heard of the Carlyle Group, one of the world's biggest private equity firms. It has also been called "The Ex-President's Club" or the "Ex-Generals' Club" because of the many retired military and political people on it's board. They are pretty heavily invested in the military industry, and are said to have profited hugely from the war on terror. These things may or may not be true, but what is indisputable, is the fact that the Carlyle Group is a big player, with billions in assets. George Bush's father and James Baker, the family fixer, are listed as partners in this powerful entity.

George W. Bush has many reasons to worry about his own personal future, and his financial security in the coming years. His inheritance from Big George is looking a little dicey right now. It seems that Carlyle Capital has taken its own pounding from the current credit crisis. In fact, shares in the fund have been suspended, you can't buy them even if you wanted to, although I doubt that today anyone would. It's not just struggling middle-income Americans who can't repay their loans, Carlyle Capital defaulted on 16.6 billion dollars of debt. So whatever real assets the Carlyle Group still holds, will be sold off to pay back lenders.

I'm feeling a little wave of nausea come over me at the thought of what Carlyle assets might be for sale on the world market. United Defense Industries, Voight Aircraft Industries, and DR. Pepper? What big foreign bank will acquire the company with the ability to design and manufacture combat vehicles and missile launchers, and who might they sell it to? Does the buyer then inherit all of the pending defense contracts? I'm less concerned about the Dr. Pepper, but I'm hoping it doesn't go to the Chinese, they are already out-manufacturing us, we don't need to give them carbonated beverages loaded with sugar and caffeine. The Chinese economy will go into hyper-drive, and the American market will be flooded with Barbie Dream Houses insulated with toxins and coated with lead paint. Our kids will have to be treated in the next couple of decades for Toxic Barbie Syndrome, and my Medicare coverage will be so bankrupt, I won't be able to get my oxygen tanks, or my Prozac, which by that time, I will desperately need.

There are many things about the current state of the economy that cause me to lie awake at night and plan for the worst case economic scenario. When huge players like the Carlyle Group begin to implode and the creditors come knocking at the front door of American Corporations with eviction notices in hand, I feel a panic that I can't even describe. Because as much bad debt as these irresponsible bullish capitalists have amassed, it's just a drop in the bucket compared to our Federal Debt, which is right now, some 9.4 trillion dollars. If you're not worried that our creditors, (China, Japan) are not at this very moment thinking about seizing some of our national assets, then I have to tell you that you're being naive. What will we give China to hold off the big eviction notice to all Americans? Hawaii? Alaska? Indiana?

Why don't we start with Crawford, Texas?

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