The Almost Ban on Torture, and the Exceptions to the Bill of Rights

I think I'm the only person in Washington who isn't a lawyer. I don't mind, I love my work, and most nights I can sleep well, knowing I haven't done something vaguely immoral like keeping a criminal out of jail, or protecting a large company from liability that they deserved. I know that everyone has the right to a fair trial, but in my view, if you did the thing that was against the law, you should plead guilty and accept the penalty. It shouldn't matter if you're rich or poor, a crime is a crime whether you're Joe Shmo, or the President.

Since I'm not a lawyer, I don't understand phrases like "Unitary Executive Theory of the Presidency". There are an awful lot of lawyers who don't understand it either. I'm pretty sure that there is nothing in the Constitution that states: The President shall do whatever the F he wants, even if it's against the law, to protect the nation, including torture and eavesdropping on American citizens, and if you don't like it, the President can Torture YOU! I don't remember learning that part in my American Government class, even if I was stoned most of the time. (It was the 70's, smoking weed was practically a pre-requisite for senior year in high school). The Unitary Executive Theory of the Presidency is this made up rule that has never been passed in any country, the President's lawyers are saying that when the Senate and the Congress gave him authority to use military force against Al Qaeda, the ability to spy on Americans was implied. Which makes sense, if you figure that these folks are not reality based. In LaLa Land, anything goes. Since we are presently living in LaLa Land, I think we should enact the "Tankwoman Rules For Coping in Wartime", thus making those things I did in High School not only legal, but mandatory.

Laws, schmaws, who needs them? In fact, the lawmakers in this country went to a lot of trouble to ban the use of torture just last month. Many hours and tax dollars were spent on this fine piece of legislation (even though we all know that America does not torture). When the President signed the bill, he added what is called a signing statement, another thing that hardly anyone has ever heard of, basically saying that since he is the President, and we are at war, he might not follow the law. The signing statement, in a court of law, would carry the same weight as the "Tankwoman Rules for Coping in Wartime", since I, much like the President, do not make laws, we have Congress for that.

But who knows? These days, courts may very well decide that the President has the power to break the law with impunity.

In the United States of LaLa Land, anything is possible.

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