"Smoking gun" found on Iranian nukes!!!

Our crack Bush administration intelligence team will be presenting irrefutable proof to the UN this week that Iran is days away from nuking the United States! Time magazine:

It will rely mainly on circumstantial evidence, much of it from documents found on a laptop purportedly purloined from an Iranian nuclear engineer and obtained by the CIA in 2004. ...

They do, however, have diagrams that they believe show components of a nuclear bomb. According to a Western diplomat familiar with the U.S. intel brief, a Farsi-language PowerPoint presentation on the laptop has "catchy graphics," including diagrams of a hollow metallic sphere 2 ft. in diameter and weighing about 440 lbs. Other documents show a sphere-shaped array of tiny detonators. No file specifically refers to a nuclear bomb, but U.S. officials say the design of the sphere ... is akin to that of classic devices like Fat Man, the atom bomb dropped on Nagasaki during World War II. "Because of the size and weight and the power source going into it and height-of-burst requirements," says the diplomat, Western experts have concluded that the design "is only intended to contain a nuclear weapon. There's no other munition which would work." A report issued last week by Mohamed ElBaradei, head of the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA), says Iranian officials have dismissed a number of the laptop documents as fabricated.

Ah, who cares what some fuddy-duddy at the UN says, anyway?

Man, wait until I send Time my unmistakable photographic proof of the existence of Bigfoot, which some hunter left in his camera that I found at the edge of the woods next to some mud smears that had to have come from a giant, hairy two-legged critter! It's all connected, don't you see? Iran is training Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) to run suicide missions with nuclear bombs!! We can't wait for our first warning sign to be a big, hairy mushroom cloud, now can we?

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