The debate between left and right in America has become so intense, that it actually threatens relationships that once tolerated disagreement. I have a friend in Chicago. She's nearing retirement age. She grew up in an era when women didn't have a whole lot of choices. When she got married, women raised children, they deferred to their husbands, they put up with domestic violence because they somehow believed that it was their fault, that they were in some way inferior, and so therefore deserved the black eyes and bruises. They saw their children abused and could do nothing to stop it. They had no power unless they had money, and in many cases, their own churches encouraged them to stay married to monsters rather than get divorced. As a society, we looked down on women who raised children without husbands, we called them all sorts of bad names, Welfare Mothers, sluts, and any number of racial and ethnic names. But my friend played by the rules as she knew them, she was loyal to a company for many years that paid her no pension, she was true to her religion that kept her married to a man who beat her. She paid her taxes, she raised her children, she went to work every day, and now, she is facing retirement with uncertain healthcare, and wondering what will become of her in her old age. She is angry, and rightly so.
But she blames the Mexicans.
And not only does she blame the Mexicans, she blames me. She blames the liberals. Now last time I checked, the liberals were the ones fighting for women's rights, and affordable healthcare for all. It's the liberals who believe that corporations should pay you a decent wage, and be responsible for your well being. And she not only blames me for being a liberal, she blames me for being gay. She came to my wedding, she supported my gay marriage, and now her Bible Study group is telling her that it is somehow my fault that her life is miserable. I went to her son's hetero wedding, and he ended up leaving his 1 year-old son and his wife for the babysitter. Me, I am still married, still happy, and I never played by the same rules as she did.
It seems unfair. I never played by the rules, and now I am rewarded with a decent income, and a happy marriage. Is my future more certain? Not really, I smoke, and she does not, and so I will probably die a painful death from lung cancer, and she will outlive me but her life may be unhappy and she may live hand to mouth. Is it my fault that she took the wrong path, that she believed all of the crap that the church and the state told her?
Life is a crapshoot, the Goddess gave us free will for a reason, I think that she expected us to use our brains and recognize a scam when we saw one. This is a kind of crazy, long-winded response to a comment a reader made a couple of weeks ago to a post I wrote. I was lamenting the Republican Senate's waste of time and taxpayer dollars trying to pass a law banning gay marriage, while neglecting the issues that truly trouble our nation.
Here is the comment:
Please explain "pissing away their children's future, and the economic security of our nation", and "don't expect us to be too sympathetic when the middle class sinks down into the rungs of poverty."
The thing is, Milton, while you people are playing by the rules, and demonizing the gays and the Mexicans, the corporations you work for are sending your white-bread, middle-class jobs to India and China. Your church and the representatives that you so loyally support don't give a rat's ass about your healthcare. The children that you can't afford to send on to a university are getting a crap education and will inherit your Republican debt. The gay people will move to Canada where healthcare is free, and people are tolerant, and you people will be left with an American debt and a free clinic in a neighborhood in the inner city that you can't afford to drive to because gas is only available to the rich, and there are no busses that run out into the suburbs. The Mexicans who mow your lawn will go back to Mexico and live off American dollars that will actually buy something.
The goddess gave you a brain. Take your misplaced anger and channel it into something that will actually do you some good.
Work for equality. Stop being angry with the gays and Mexicans, and start getting angry with the people you voted for who will waste your tax dollars voting to try to make my sure that my marriage is never legal. Start voting for something instead of against everything.
